“we’re gonna fucking die”
aint he a water type tho lol
"y’all motherfuckers are gonna fucking die and i’m gonna fucking watch"
"CT is definitely our eye candy; Rostam is our musical genius; Baio… He’s married so he’s out of the game in terms of the ladies. Everybody’s bringing a different flavor."
Zane Lowe: So what’s your flavor?
"Well… I’m a bit of a ladies man… I’m a little bit like Drake. I’m a bit of a ladies man with a sensitive side, intellectual but don’t push me. You know… I kinda got it all. I’m very complicated. People don’t understand me. They gave up." - Ezra Koenig
my kingdom for a fic where undercover cop Stiles Stilinski is trolling the local gay bars looking for a serial killer and either:
A) runs into Derek, who looks a lot like the vague description they’ve compiled, and is super into Stiles (he’s here because he’s the killer’s type: white, dark-haired, twinky, kind of pretty - Lydia MADE Stiles wear lip gloss, okay) and also has a habit of kind of… smelling him? its weird. at the time Stiles totally does not find it hot, but he does feel REALLY bad when the whole police force descends upon Derek outside the club when Derek leaves with Stiles, only to find out Derek’s been out of town visiting his sister in NYC for the past two weeks.
"Uhm," Stiles says. "I’m really sorry about that? As is Beacon Hills PD, obviously, all of us, but — me especially."
Derek stares at Stiles’s face for a moment, and the shrugs his way back into his leather jacket. ”Do you ever visit gay bars in your off time?”
Stiles blinks. “Not often.” And Derek’s face falls, infinitesimally, and Stiles quickly blunders on. “I work second shift a lot! I don’t - I’m unaware of gay brunch, I guess.”
"Margot’s on Third is pretty good," Derek says, and boom, date.
(the guy they catch, later, is not as handsome as Derek, who immediately gets affronted about the whole thing)
or B) Stiles takes up a spot at the bar and ends up getting hit on by Peter, who DEFINITELY gives off serial killer vibes, big time. In fact Peter is so off-putting that Stiles actually comes around to second-guessing himself, because what kind of idiot would go home with someone this creepy?
"Get lost, Peter," someone says behind him, someone built and scruffy, damn, if that isn’t Stiles’s type wrapped up in a threadbare undershirt. Peter raises an eyebrow and exchanges a few barbs with tall dark and handsome before actually scramming.
"Thanks for the save," Stiles says, half to Handsome and half to Lydia in his ear, wondering if he needs backup. "He was…"
"My uncle’s definitely skeevy," Handsome says.
"… regular skeevy or serial killer skeevy?"
"My name’s Stiles!"
And then eventually they bone, which only gets a little awkward when Derek finds the wire taped inside of Stiles’s plaid shirt.
i’M CRYING somOME CROtHETED THIs snail a SWEATER. A HAT.A SHELL WARMER. THEY SpeNT TIME and ENERGY and made this snAIL A SWEATERHATSHELLWARMER out of th eKINDNESS OF THEIR HEARTS what thE FUCK IT FITS PERFECTLY theY PROBABLY MADE IT WHILE MAKING SOMETHING ELSE AND THEN THEY SAW A SNAIL AND WERE LIKE “HEY LITTLE BUD IM MAKIN SOMETHIN JUST FOR YOOO’ and they finiished it before they snail could get awaybecause it’s a SNAIL AND IT CANt move that faast and OH FUCK IM CRYING I HOPE YOURE STILL OUT THERE AND HAPPY SNAIL
"Well Karen…poor Karen…me and Arthur would just abuse her. But it’s never like…it’s just silliness. God love her, I’ve never met anyone with such grace and wit at dealing with us." -Matt Smith
I can seriously imagine Albus and James swapping chocolate frog cards and all their friends are like ‘OMG THE BOY WHO LIVED GUYS’ and they don’t even bat an eyelid ‘Yeah got the real one at home bit of a tosser really’
bit of a tosser really
i like the idea that derek got possessed and his first thought was “where’s my sweater with the thumb holes”